How to network when you’re low on confidence
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This week we’re quoting…
Reid Hoffman (Co-Founder of LinkedIn and author of The Start-up of You)
What Hoffman said:
“Opportunities do not float like clouds in the sky. They’re attached to people. If you’re looking for an opportunity, you’re really looking for a person.”
Does networking make you panic?
We get it. Here at LEAP we’re big believers in the power of networking, but we’re also human – we get nervous sometimes, and socially anxious. We can be awkward, lose our confidence, and feel like we’d rather do anything other than talk to new people.
So if the idea of networking makes you feel pressured and panicked, know you’re not alone. Nobody is their best self all of the time. But networking really is important; and the good news is that you can do it your way.
It doesn’t have to mean squeezing your way through crowded rooms and forcing small talk over loud music. Actually, some of the best networking happens in quiet moments, thoughtful online exchanges, or casual one-on-one chats in the lull after an event keynote.
You might be heading to a major event like LEAP, reaching out on LinkedIn, or trying to reconnect with old contacts in your industry. No matter the format, you can network successfully (and even easily) even when you’re not feeling your most confident self.
1. Start where you’re comfortable (online definitely counts)
Don’t underestimate the power of online networking. Platforms like LinkedIn, X (formerly Twitter), Slack groups, and Discord channels are full of people who want to learn, collaborate, and connect.
You don’t have to have an endless stream of inspirational thoughts to share. You can start by just engaging with content that interests you – comment thoughtfully on other people’s posts, share articles with your own take, or ask questions in niche groups.
Networking is about connections. And responding meaningfully to other people’s content can build those connections far more effectively than shouting into the void with your own content.
Low-pressure win: Reach out to someone you admire with a simple message like: “I really enjoyed your post on [topic]. Would love to hear more about your work in [area] – do you have a newsletter or blog I can follow?”
2. Prep for events like a pro introvert
If you are attending a conference or meetup, take the time to plan in advance. Look at the agenda, pinpoint sessions and speakers that genuinely interest you, and map out some quiet time in between.
At LEAP, we make sure we create lots of spaces away from the crowds – quiet lounges, breakout rooms, and coffee spots where you can recharge. It’s OK (and smart) to take breaks to reset your energy.
Pro tip: If you know specific people you want to connect with, arrange meetings with them in advance so you don’t have to wing it in the moment. A 15-minute chat over coffee is often more memorable than a three-minute pitch in a noisy crowd.
3. Lead with curiosity, not your CV
Talking about yourself can feel awkward when you’re nervous. So…don’t (or at least, not to begin with).
Ask people about their work, what excites them, or why they’ve chosen this platform or this event to share their work. Most people love talking about themselves, and it gives you time to relax and build a genuine connection.
Once you’re more comfortable, it’s easier to talk about what you do – and by then, the conversation will flow more naturally.
4. Set realistic goals
You don’t need to ‘work the room’ or leave an event with 100 new contacts; and you don’t need 10,000 followers on LinkedIn to have an impact either. In fact, trying to do too much will likely drain you and leave you feeling worse.
Instead, set a small, achievable goal for each event you attend, or for each week on an online platform. For example:
- Start one meaningful conversation
- Connect with three people online after a panel
- Ask one speaker a question you’re curious about
- Send LinkedIn connection requests to five people you’d love to learn from
A handful of genuine connections is more valuable than thousands of empty ones.
5. Have a follow-up plan
You’ve made a few contacts – now what?
Follow up in your own time. Send a friendly message reminding them of your chat, share something useful (like a link to an article you discussed), or suggest another catch-up.
Remember: a light, kind message can go a long way. You don’t need to impress anyone; just be real and respectful of their time.
This goes for connections you’ve made in person and the ones you’ve made online. Keep in touch at regular (but not too regular) intervals to stay on their radar, and know that relationships build over time.
6. Tell someone how you’re feeling
If you’re nervous about an event or an online interaction, tell someone you trust. That might be a colleague, a friend, or even someone else attending; but just saying out loud “I find this kind of thing a bit daunting” can instantly lighten the pressure.
And there’s a very good chance they’ll say “me too.”
Network as yourself – don’t pretend to be someone else
Networking doesn’t have to feel like a performance. You can build valuable, lasting relationships without pretending to be someone you’re not. Confidence builds through practice; and with every conversation, you’ll get a little more comfortable.
So take a breath. You’ve got this. You’re an interesting person with ideas and thoughts and feelings; and no matter where you’re networking, you’ll find people you connect with.
Let go of the pressure to be perfect, and see what happens.
Will we see you at LEAP 2026? We hope so. Pre-register now to give yourself plenty of time to prep.
Have an idea for a topic you'd like us to cover? We're eager to hear it. Drop us a message and share your thoughts.
Catch you next week,
The LEAP Team
